On NOT being a drug seeker!

Having a chronic illness often causes a lot of pain. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (as well as a whole encyclopedia of other issues) and every single day of my life I am in some kind of pain. Most of the time I can ignore it and go on with my day, I have taught myself to deal with it when it is like that. My pain isn't trivial, nor is the pain any other person with a chronic illness suffers. Sometimes the pain gets too bad for me to ignore and I have to rely on medication to help alleviate my symptoms so I can lead a semi-normal life. Some of these medicines are narcotics. Trust me I don't want to use these medicines but sometimes I have to! I don't think people realize how much pain I bear with before even thinking of turning to narcotic pain medication. I have been labeled many times as a drug seeker by those who have no idea what I am going through. It makes me feel demeaned, like I have done something wrong and it leaves a lasting impression on me. I want to share my experience so I can maybe enlighten some people and help the chronic illness community in general.

Getting my medication is a hassle almost every time. I have had pharmacists look at me in a condescending manner and it really makes me upset because I just want to shout out to the world that I want my pain to go away...that is all I want! I have to keep my mouth shut and bear with the glares as if I didn't notice them, but they are always so obvious, whether it be pharmacist, doctor, or any person in general. I do know that there are laws put in place to make it harder for the real drug seekers to get the medication, but the thing is it makes it twice as hard for the legitimate patient to get any kind of pain/symptom relief.

The whole thing is so stigmatized that I often feel that if I ever spoke up about how I feel about the issue I will have an even harder time getting my medication...I am terrified that one day I won't be able to get it anymore and that I will be in so much pain that I can no longer handle living in the world...I hate to say it but it is how I feel. Pain medication (read narcotics) help me lead a life not only worth living but one that I can actually smile, be useful, and be relatively pain free in.

These are not just my thoughts, but many other people in the world who have chronic illness and pain feel the exact same way as I do. Those people, the ones who can't speak out and help the world understand our struggle, and the healthcare workers who look at every single patient as if they are a drug seeker, these people are who I am writing this for.