Monday Musings: "Ignorance"
This week I am discussing a poem called "Ignorance". I wrote this poem in college one day after I was subject to ignorance about my medical problems. I was walking back to my dorm with my friend who lived in a different dorm. The entire way I walked fine but when my friend went their way and I turned to go mine my ankle joint gave out and instantly I was in so much pain that I couldn't really put any weight on that foot/ankle. Behind me walked a girl and her boyfriend and I heard them "whisper" (I use that word lightly) "she walked fine until her friend left." They said it in a snide, judgemental way. I don't know why, but this comment, this dumb statement, really upset me to the point where rage overcame me in a onslaught of hot tears. I think it might have been the last straw type of moment for me, I had many moments where people treated me different or said something to me because they were woefully ignorant of what Ehlers Danlos Syndrome/Chiari Malformation is. I was luckily able to control my anger until I got back to my room, where as I always do, I opened my notebook and let the emotions flow out of me into words. The very first line of "Ignorance" captures what I was feeling perfectly "It is hard not to be furious at all the ignorance displayed."
The rest of the poem is just my scream to the world "why don' you understand?" I think the anger I was feeling is captured quite well in this poem. Ignorance is such a problem, and acting on that ignorance, judging on that ignorance, happens ever single day. I admit that I myself am ignorant about many things, this is why my approach to it is to ask questions and learn as much as I can about any given subject or situation before acting or judging. I wish more people could take their ignorance and use it to learn things instead of using it to perpetuate false information or snide remarks.
The first line of the last stanza of my poem goes as follows:
"Some people try so damn hard, to have the life that you so easily enjoy, some people don't even get a real life; they are stuck with a useless decoy." This is exactly how I felt then, and it is still how I feel now. I feel like people are ignorant about how good their lives are. People are so quick to complain about very small things, when in actuality they have pretty damn great lives. I do feel like my life is just a sad imitation of what my life should be like and though I do not say it often, when people complain about little things all the time and never consider how fortunate they are, it frankly pisses me off. I am not necessarily pissed off at the person who is complaining as an individual, it is more that I am angry at society for being so blase' about their lives when there are people, such as myself, who would do almost anything to trade places with one of those people. I know that I am ignorant about other peoples lives as well and that their lives aren't perfect either. The last line of my poem is "remember how good you have it, and that life is its own reward." I want people to really let that line sink in and remember the good things you have going for you and be thankful, truly utterly thankful for the life you have. Though I do feel like my life is just a decoy, a remnant of something greater that I will never know, I have still found a way to be thankful for the life I have. No it is not the life I would choose, but I have so many things in my life that are true blessings that I can't find it in me to be cynical all of the time.
To read this poem in it's entirety as well as my other poetry check out my book "The Bright Side of Dark: Collected Poems" which can be found on Amazon.com or contact me at heatherdashley@gmail.com
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